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FUNK SIMULATOR 99

by Arison Cain

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1.
WELCOME 01:02
2.
My old lady's out of town And the kids are sound asleep Got the house all to myself And I start to feel the heat I lock the office door and find my cushioned seat Sit down at the desk and start-up my machine I double click the little icon on the screen Let the modem dial, this’ll take a while I’m loading up a freaky scene The lights are low but the monitor glows Like a lamp post on the street And it’s wham bam, thank you, ma’am Hot damn, I’m dancing to a brand new beat I'm in the chat room living it up I got digital friends, and I need to pretend I can feel their physical touch I’m in the chat room gettin’ it on My keyboard taps going clickity-clack I'm online till the break of dawn Getting nasty while my wife is gone AngelBaby69 I wanna funk you down I typed "love" in the search bar And it was you I found Sparks were starting to fly Right before you signed out I think you might be a guy But I don't wanna find out I'm in the chat room living it up I got digital friends, and I need to pretend I can feel their physical touch I’m in the chat room gettin’ it on My keyboard taps going clickity-clack I'm online till the break of dawn Getting nasty while my wife is gone A/S/L? A/S/L? LMAO LOL Keep my downloads on the down-low I'm in the chat room living it up I got digital friends, and I need to pretend I can feel their physical touch I’m in the chat room gettin’ it on My keyboard taps going clickity-clack I'm online till the break of dawn Getting nasty while my wife is... "I'm home"
3.
HACK DADDY 01:10
Warning! Your sound card has been infiltrated By an elite computer hacker And world-famous bad boy named Arison Cain He has taken complete control Over your motherboard functions And software library Warning! Any attempt to uninstall this program Or reboot your machine Will result in permanent data corruption And total system failure You are not permitted to turn down the volume From this point on, you will succumb To the sonic temptations of his digital desires
4.
I saw her standing there Underneath the starry sky She was giving off some Futuristic party vibes She swung her hips and then she Hit me with them large thighs She up and switched my floppy disk Into a hard drive All the wires in my brain get crossed When I try to figure out what she's made of So hurry up before my memory's lost Won't you please, please, please (Back up, back up, back up) Won’t you back up my data? Before you know it we were jamming On some other chords She took me home and Introduced me to her motherboard She’s the type of machine That’ll make your circuits short I've got the version of the firmware That she's searching for All the wires in my brain get crossed When I try to figure out what she's made of So hurry up before my memory's lost Won't you please, please, please (Back up, back up, back up) Won’t you back up my data? All the wires in my brain get crossed When I try to figure out what she's made of So hurry up before my memory's lost Won't you please, please, please (Back up, back up, back up) Your sweet ass and my data
5.
CYBERSPACE 01:41
Do you want to cyber, girl? I think you do I hope you know I want to cyber too Do you want to cyber? Yes, I think I do Let's go to Cyberspace and Make our dreams come true
6.
You’ve caught me up in your web And the whole wide world started spinning again With every word that you said The beat of my heart started skipping ahead You’ve caught me up in your web And the whole wide world started spinning again With every word that you said Goddamn, no I can't get you out of my head You’ve caught me up in your web And the whole wide world started spinning again With every word that you said The beat of my heart started skipping
7.
I've had about enough of your lines baby It's easy to see When I'm all alone What you've been doing to me But just when I start shutting down And I feel obsolete You send a message of passion With image attachments That knocks me right off of my feet I don't know why we keep trying to love In these new technological ways Those analog girls aren’t exciting enough What more do you want me to say? There's no logic in our protocol I just hope we survive when we finally fall And so after two months of Fighting and flirting We finally meet That was when I discovered My internet lover Wasn't who she claimed to be Now you've got me tied up In knots again, baby Quite literally You strapped down my ankles With ethernet cables And conquered me digitally I don't know why we keep trying to love In these new technological ways Those analog girls aren't exciting enough What more do you want me to say? There's no logic in our protocol I just hope we survive when we finally fall
8.
Y2K 04:06
I was dreaming when I wrote this Sorry if it sounds the same When I woke up this morning Could have sworn it was Y2K Dearly beloved We are gathered here today To take a ride into outer space Put your purple suit on There’s a party upstairs And you're cordially invited To the grand affair Keep your third eye open Don't get scared When I make it to the other side I'll meet you there The afterlife is an afterparty I said the afterlife is an afterparty We've all got the same heart And the same brain We’re all a part of the mainframe Even when it snows in April The sun still shines in May I know I will be grateful When I meet you on my Judgement Day Your thoughts, your feelings Your fears and your doubts Have all been uploaded to the cloud Your love, ambition Your memories too Everything that makes up a part of you The afterlife is an afterparty I said the afterlife is an afterparty We've all got the same heart And the same brain We're all a part of the mainframe Even when it snows in April The sun still shines in May I know I will be grateful When I meet you on my Judgement Day I know I will be grateful When I meet you on my Judgement Day I know I will be grateful When I meet you on my Judgement Day

about

A digital audio experience for personal computers.

credits

released August 23, 2019

All songs were written and performed by Arison Cain.

Produced, Engineered and Mixed by Arison Cain. Mastered by Matthew Corey.

Artwork by Arison Cain.

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all rights reserved

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about

Arison Cain Long Beach, California

Hi, I'm Arison Cain.

I live by the philosophy that one great song can change the world, or at least the world that each of us is living in right now.

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